For Reza, Our Bill

At the end of my senior year of high school, my AP Government class was divided into 3 teams for a project to develop a utopian system. The night before the teams were decided, I had been watching some DVDs of The Chris Rock Show, and there was a Def Jam parody on there called Def Emergency Room Jam, so when we needed a team name the next day, I christened our noble group, and Def Government Jam was born.

Def Government Jam lives on to this day. It was me, the twins, Ryan, Mike, Johanna, Lindsey, Trevor, AJ, and Dino. Our group still often remembers and reminisces on our time and our project, which, somehow simply became a re-enactment of Kill Bill Volume 1, and I still have a copy of our movie on DVD. As a matter of fact, half of my wardrobe remains in California, but Def Government Jam's final movie project came to New York with me.

We all assumed roles from the movie, but were lacking the title character (that you don't need to see anyway) and elected Reza, the father of two of the members, my very good friends, my partners in crime, the twins.

Born in Iran, Reza had a killer sense of humor and an astounding work ethic. At the time of Def Government Jam, I was working in a hair salon in a shopping center where Reza owned a pizza parlor. The twins would often bring me lunch or dinner, compliments of Reza, or I would go stop by on breaks to see Reza and just talk and laugh, he always had plenty to say and lots of jokes. Whenever I would go to visit the twins at their house, Reza would often come down to hang out with us in the kitchen, speak French with me, or teach me simple phrases in Farsi. I think I even have a picture with him from high school graduation. For my 23rd birthday, Reza and his wife Lena bought me a huge (HUGE) bottle of champagne and a sweet card to send us off to Vegas with to celebrate. I would call him Bill, he would call me Black Mamba. I would ask about Bill, and Bill would ask about Black Mamba.

Reza passed away unexpectedly yesterday, and I feel so awful knowing how devastating it has been for the twins and their family, and it's really been a shock for all of us that knew him, and I thought everyone should know what a great guy Reza was, and he leaves on a great legacy.

Def Government Jam's very own Bill. He's the man. 

April 20, 1955 - April 28, 2013

Life: XXXIX

I love Emily Dickinson. She is, by far, my favorite poet. After visiting Louisa May Alcott's childhood home and location of Little Women in Concord, Emily Dickinson's native Amherst has always been on my list of places to see in New England. I keep a copy of her complete works on my nightstand, and I find I can always find a new gem by her. Despite being a 19th century recluse from the East Coast, she has such relatable themes and emotions. I found this one not too long ago, and it still sticks with me:

I MEANT to have but modest needs
Such as content, and heaven;
Within my income these could lie,
And life and I keep even.

But since the last included both,
It would suffice my prayer
But just for one to stipulate,
And grace would grant the pair.

And so, upon this wise I prayed,—
Great Spirit, give to me
A heaven not so large as yours,
But large enough for me.

A smile suffused Jehovah’s face;
The cherubim withdrew;
Grave saints stole out to look at me,
And showed their dimples, too.

I left the place with all my might,—
My prayer away I threw;
The quiet ages picked it up,
And Judgment twinkled, too,

That one so honest be extant
As take the tale for true
That “Whatsoever you shall ask,
Itself be given you.”

But I, grown shrewder, scan the skies
With a suspicious air,—
As children, swindled for the first,
All swindlers be, infer.

Two lines continue to resonate with me: "I meant to have but modest needs" and "...give to me / A heaven not so large as yours / But large enough for me"

I feel a little guilty not only liking her, but keeping a collection of her works close by. She wrote for no one but herself, and on her death bed asked that all her writings be burned. I have to wonder who she told this to, because they turned around and published ALL of them, so I feel like they're some sort of blood poems. I always wonder if she wanted to burn them because they were too personal, or that she didn't have any faith in herself that they were good and was afraid of being judged. Makes me wonder about a lot of things in life.

I'm A Lionheart

The world I love
The tears I drop
The trains I hop
To be part of the wave
Can't stop
Ever wonder if it's all for you?

I drive on the streets cause
She's my companion
I walk through the hills cause
She knows who I am
She sees my good deeds...
At least I have her love
The city, she loves me

What you seek is seeking you

When I sit alone, come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time
Step from the road to the sea to the sky...
Well it's killing me, what do I really need - 
All that I need to look inside?

Show love with no remorse
This ride is right on course

Some days I can't even dress myself...
Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right...
Though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore

My head is an animal

Trouble spirits on my chest
Where they lay to rest...
Million stars up in the sky
Formed a tigers eye
That looked down on my face
Out of time and out of place
So hold on
Hold on to your heart

Their daring nerve and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart

I move slow and steady...
But I feel like a waterfall
Passing all the monsters in my head
And I'm never ready

Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
Don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy
We'll all float on alright

Howling ghosts they reappear
In mountains that are stacked with fear
But... I'm a lionheart
And in the sea that's painted black
Creatures lurk below the deck
But... I'm a lionheart

Coachella 2013

Per usual, the best weekends have to speak for themselves. Or sing for themselves? Our line-up included the likes of: Modest Mouse, Of Monsters and Men, Janelle Monae, Baauer, Franz Ferdinand, Hot Chip, Jeff the Brotherhood, Jurassic 5, La Roux, Mimosa, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Passion Pit, Paul Kalkbrenner, Paul Oakenfold, Phoenix, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tegan and Sara, The Stone Roses, R Kelly, The Postal Service, Tommy Trash, The Yeah Yeah Yeah's and the infamous 2 Chainz!

And that was maybe 30% of all the performers. There just wasn't enough time to see everyone. Nick's favorite was Janelle Monae, I have no idea what Will's favorite was, mine was Baauer, and Ryan's was Hot Chip, to everyone's surprise. A close second (or maybe a tie) was Red Hot Chili Peppers, who really threw down live. We were only about 6 people from the stage and I'm convinced that Flea actually invented the bass guitar. I don't even really CARE about the bass guitar and I was in awe. Absolutely all of it was incredible.

And our ongoing quotes from the weekend

I got the black lung, pops
Help me I'm _______
2chaaaaaaaainz! (Followed by any number and noun)
Pow! Pow-pow-pow! Pow!
I'm uhh... I'm Mrs, Mrs Iglesias

Who can't be happy at a music festival in the desert? NO ONE. Is the answer.

Mother Feather

My Fairy Tail friend Nick and I were both free last Thursday so we met up for pizza and beer after work. It was delightful.

Though it was a work night and we promised each other "just one drink" and that we'd behave ourselves, we couldn't resist stopping in to the local dance club a few blocks down.

One thing led to another, and before I knew it, we were nomming at a taqueria at 1 in the morning and I wasn't falling down in my bed until past 2! That's why all day on Friday I thought I was going to go straight home after work and relax and recover. Buuuuut then Nick invited me to see a local band in the Lower East Side called Mother Feather. Live music with Nick? It was like a dry run for Coachella (minus one) so I said I was interested. When he told me that they were glam rock, I committed. This was what I got myself into:

Think a Lady Gaga group. They were crazy, but they were also awesome! It was a performance and pretty good music and I had such a great time discovering them! Nothing will make you feel like you're in New York City more than a glam rock band in a tiny Lower East Side venue. Viva Mother Feather.

Polaroids

In Las Vegas, some of our friends brought a Polaroid camera on trip, and I don't think anyone anticipated what a hit it would be! It was fun to take them, and funner still to come up with the captions that we would write on them. Yohann just sent a lot to us (imagine a day and age where you have to take a picture of a picture to send it to everyone) and I wanted to share some more so that the memory and legacy of this Vegas trip would go on and onnnnnn!

Good memories last a lifetime. Polaroids help. Can't wait until the next trip we all get to take together (when and wherever that will be!)