Rave Up

This past Saturday was one part of a three-fold culmination of quite the busy season in this particular office, and it saw me working twelve hours on Saturday for our Alumni Day & Reunion with awful back pain and a fever. It sucked. (And that's why I didn't feel bad at all about laying in bed for hours on Sunday with Harry Potter on and a laptop open with no work getting done).

This morning someone sent me a picture of me from the end of the night, working check-in registration and maybe it doesn't show too well through the computer, but my cheeks were so noticeably pink and flushed it made me feel hot and sick just looking at it.

So while the madness should be over (our office is going for drinks this afternoon to celebrate) I still have class tonight and tomorrow, an ASL assignment due next Tuesday, a huge final revision for my writing class due on Friday, and then starting a completely unrelated writing class this Wednesday for four weeks. So it's still wringing me dry of all my energy and free time.

And here's a stream of consciousness for you: At the daytime registration for the conference, someone came through a little late, so the 4 of us working the tables all turned our attention onto him. This man was a CLONE of Steff from Pretty in Pink... his face, outfit, voice, speech intonation and mannerisms. I think he was still within earshot when he left our tables and I turned to everyone else and started yelling out "Please tell me someone here has seen Pretty in Pink and knows who Steff is!" (They did, by the way, and the actor is James Spader who's on Boston Legal (?) and also made an appearance on a Seinfeld episode).

After Harry Potter yesterday, Steff came back into my mind and I was dying to watch Pretty in Pink, so I put it on and I was not disappointed. Here is Steff in all his glory:



Aaaaand it also reminded me of The Rave-Ups who play at Andie's clubs and are super awesome.



Okay now back to work, make the madness stopppppp

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Nothing Good

Even those of you not versed in the wizarding world may be familiar with any of the names of the Harry Potter volumes as you can't really avoid them. This morning, I finished watching the 4th movie based off of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, but I would rather watch magical owl feces collect flies for 2 1/2 hours rather than watch that mess again.

I haven't cried over a book since April 2005 as I finished off Barbara Kingsolver's The Poisonwood Bible, and I was thisclose to crying over the Goblet of Fire, and might have if I was alone and not in a room overtaken by sisters and incessant "make the bed!" and "recesssss" chants that distracted me.

The movie COMPLETELY MISSED THE IMPACT OF THE MOST SIGNIFICANT SCENES. (Consider yourself official spoiler alerted from here on out). In the book, Harry has his first battling encounter with Voldemort and it will make you swell with tears. Their wands connect forces and a web encircles them, around which Voldemort's supporters are clambering and yelling. Harry's arm is shaking and he's losing strength. Out of Voldemort's wand comes the ghosts of the last spells that he's performed, which have killed (among others) Harry's classmate, and his parents. They speak to Harry, they guide him, and encourage him. They swirl around, supporting Harry, and sneering and insulting Voldemort. A song from the great wizard Dumbledore's phoenix sounds to Harry as he is losing strength in his arm, and yet this all combines to give him power to move the golden bead between their wand connections closer to Voldemort, and they prepare him for what will happen when the connection is broken and what to do, including his classmate Cedric requesting Harry to take his body back for his parents' sake. (If the summary had any impact on you, imagine reading the pages of prose!)

Wellllll all that was lost on the movie's filmmaker, apparently, because their wands connect for all of a minute, his parents talk to him once, and there's not even a hint of a phoenix song. THAT WAS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT SCENE OF THAT WHOLE DAMN BOOK! And that's not all.

Harry returns in a flash to Hogwarts and in the book, he's screaming about his recent revelation that a Voldemort supporter has infiltrated their school, and refuses to let go of his classmate's dead body that he's brought back, screaming and frightened at what has just happened. In the movie, he lays over the body but allows himself to be removed quickly. When he's taken back to the castle by who turns out to be the Voldemort supporter and Dumbledore realizes this, he STORMS in with such power and force and a look in his eye that it's the FIRST TIME Harry "truly understands why Dumbledore is the only wizard that Voldemort has ever feared". In the movie, Dumbledore scrambles in with two others in tow, practically a three stooges act set to the Benny Hill theme song.  Where were the power in these moments? Honestly, if you watched the movies first, I would wonder why you would EVER have any interest in reading the books. The movies are childsplay and the books are powerful. I could go on and on, but what's the point?

As the movie was playing, I had my laptop out to work on a paper and was chatting online with a coworker who is loving re-living the first-time-Harry-Potter experience through me, and I was giving her a play-by-play. Below are excerpt from the live-stream chat as it was happening.

me: i have the goblet of fire onhermione just came down the stairs for the yule ball

  so cute!

 Coworker: what a mama

 me: trying to watch this thing without falling asleep

  oh wait

  i do have a paper to be working on...

12:59 PM Coworker: ugh i know :( i'm stressed about mine

1:02 PM me: i should be more stressed

1:03 PM but harry potter takes precedence

1:04 PM Coworker: hahah so true

1:15 PM me: btw edward cullen is cedric diggory lolololol

 Coworker: i know rite lahaha

1:21 PM me: btw harry potter just sprouted gills, in case you were interested

  ive been laying in bed for like an hour and a half and havent touched my story

  lulz

1:22 PM Coworker: haha i'm writing an "introduction"

 me: wtf are these mer people?

1:24 PM

 Coworker: scary mer people

 me: i realize harry potter is magical and all, but all the CG is really annoying and distracting

1:25 PM im convinced that the movies dont deserve the harry potter name

  they dont do any justice

  they should be a generic branded movie

  "Wizard Boy"

  if we didn't have to compare them to the books they might actually stand a chance

1:27 PM Coworker: really? i think they're not that bad actually

  but they're such broad and detailed and imaginative books

7 minutes

1:48 PM me: i cant believe the sphinx isnt in the maze

 Coworker: yeah DA FUQ

 me: omg omg omg

  noooooo

  cedric is going to die soon

  :'(

 Coworker: RIP edward cullen

1:49 PM me: oh edward cullen can rest in unpeace for all i care

  but CEDRIC DIGGORY?!

 Coworker: poor man

  he was such a kind soul

1:50 PM me: voldemort is rising from the cauldron

  nasty

  looks like an overgrown fetus

1:52 PM i swear i want to remake these movies and cast myself as harry potter

  he's such a bad actor

1:54 PM Coworker: hahahah

 me: why does voldemort hate harry so much? just because he foiled him?

 Coworker: because harry's got a nose

 me: it wasn't even harry's fault

  lolololol

1:55 PM some men just want to watch the world burn

 Coworker: that they do.

 me: they're about to battle!

 Coworker: DO IT DO IT DO IT

 me: i was on the verge of tears when i was reading that

1:56 PM 

  lily potter was a muggle?

  why did i think harry potter was pureblood wizard?

1:57 PM there's too damn much packed in every book, i can't remember everything

 Coworker: take notes!

 me: DA FUQ does harry use expelliarmus against voldemort when HE JUST LEARNED AVADA KEDAVRA IN SCHOOL THAT YEAR?!!?

1:58 PM what

  the?!?!?!?!

  that scene was AWFUL

1:59 PM who directed this?!

 Coworker: yeah i was always like really harry? expelliarmus? REALLY HARRY?

2:00 PM me: that scene was the most emotional i had read in YEARS, when they battled

  and the director breezed over all of it and made it some quickie ghosty thing

2:02 PM this is my million dollar idea:

  to redo harry potter the RIGHT way

 Coworker: :( :( :( oh wait until the last movie

  yo'ull cry

2:03 PM me: well maybe thats because DAVID YATES directs that one

  and MIKE NEWELL failed on the goblet of fire

2:04 PM this man will receive a strongly worded letter from one miss ME

 Coworker: hahahah

 me: and dumbledore's entrance?!

  harry says he finally understood was dumbledore was the only wizard that snape ever feared

  DID THE DIRECTOR EVEN READ THE SCRIPT?!

2:05 PM forget the book, did he READ THE DAMNED SCRIPT?!

  snape = voldemort lolololol

 Coworker: LoLOoLOLOlOll

 me: dumbledore just runs in like he's chasing his tail

  that was no entrance

  i swear i think this movie was improvised off a super 8 camera

2:07 PM dumbledore just YELLED "voldemort" and no one even reacted

  the director stumbled onto the wrong warner brothers set

2:08 PM he was probably thinking he was directing How I Met Your Mother or something

 Coworker: throw your tv out the WINDOW

 me: I AM ABOUT TO!!!!!!

2:09 PM Coworker: DO ITE ITHETOHDG

 me: i am about to write, produce, direct, and star in a one-woman harry potter remake

  i will be harry, ron, hermione, snape, voldemort, dumbledore and screw it, ill be hedwig too

2:10 PM Coworker: that would be actually sort of amaazing.

 me: it can probably make at least off-off broadway

2:11 PM Coworker: will you do that and donate the proceeds to my marathon run

 me: i will say i will

  but then i will pocket the cash to reimburse myself

  AND WHERE WAS THE PHOENIX SONG WHILE HARRY WAS BATTLING VOLDEMORT?!

  screw you mike newell, SCREW YOU

2:13 PM Coworker: PHEEEENIXXX
I was living in New York when the final Harry Potter movie came out, and do you know how I remember this? Because the hype was hyping, and a few days before the movie was set to come out, I was riding the subway and noticed the girl standing in front of me (who was very much a girl... an overweight teenager) was carrying a blanket and pillow and talking about saving her place in line for a ticket to see the last Harry Potter movie, and I noticed that the tattoo on her calves were all Harry Potter related... crests from Hogwarts and pictures of phoenix birds and inscriptions of "Gryffindor" and I was SO APPALLED, it had only drove me further away from ever wanting to associate with this brand of crazy.

Well now that I'm 4 1/2 books deep into the series... I'm not saying I'm running off to ink myself with a lightning bolt scar on my forehead, but I am saying that if an owl appeared to me with my acceptance letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry... well I would totally quit my job and go.

Olivia, Adam and Storytime

So shortly after midnight last night, Olivia (who had already overstayed her lease on Jenny's womb by 5 days) decided to grace us with her presence. After the baby shower Jayna and I threw for that kid two months ago, I've been antsy to meet her and she's finally here! Yay.

It was the same day that I started a lunchtime reading program at the local elementary school. Kids galore! It was crazy being back in a school during hours, I was immediately taken back to my days of substitute teaching... that smell of glue and cafeteria food all mingling in the air as kids screeched and screamed while eating at the bench tables. The girl I am paired with was shy at first but we ended with her enthusiastically finishing the story for me. We had a "Getting To Know You" questionnaire and filled in each other's answers. When she started and asked my name and I spelled it out for her, she got really happy and said "I know someone with that last name!" I said "Really?" and then she finished: "Yeah, but she was white." That's that moment where you want to either say "What the hell?" or laugh really loud but you might offend them, so I just kept a straight face and said "How nice!"

Aaaaaand, as I am even amazed that I have time today to write this today, I can't waste it by not saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Cousin Adam!!!

I am still waiting for you to come out here to NYC, but until then, have a great day and I can't wait for another round of Long Beach barhopping with you and Tawnybird!

INTWINKTION

What's 150 divided by 3?

















If you didn't get it... it wasn't meant for you!

One-Day Diabetes

I've been very busy with Admitted Student's Day, which was Tuesday, and now working on Alumni Day upcoming this month, and then add in every lunch break and evening out with the girls, to say I am exhausted is a bit of an understatement.





This is probably why we found ourselves inside last night and gave ourselves diabetes in one day, one sitting. After I got off work I met the girls at Columbus Circle and we got street gyros which we ate at the base of a monument. We decided to do some grocery shopping and then drop the groceries off before heading out again. Our "resting our feet" turned in to pulling out the couch, bringing out the comforter, the 3 of us fighting for space on the cushions, and surrounding ourselves with our Twinkies, chocolate, ice cream, yogurt, and endless other varieties of junk food we had recently acquired. Kathleen and I finished the quart of espresso chip ice cream before the first episodes of The Office finished. I fell asleep and woke up around 11:30. We stayed up, fighting through stomachaches with more chocolate (hair of the dog, right?) until we went to bed around 2am. I have no shame, I needed the night in.



A weird thing happened, though. Kathleen and I were laying on the couch pull out when Shannon came over complaining for space. Kathleen told her to lay like a dog, which means to lay the length of the foot of the bed. Shannon said no and I told them there was room for all of us and Kathleen said she wanted to be on the outside. And I said I was definitely going to be on the outside. To which Kathleen huffed "fine, I'll be the banana." None of us have any idea what this means, but NOW to "be the banana" means to lay in the middle. Just FYI.

I've been listening to Thin Lizzy at work because my bartender who loved that I loved Thin Lizzy and kept saying he had a shirt for me, finally brought me the shirt, which made me start putting it on all over again.



I've been at work for 3 1/2 hours and Shannon and Kathleen are just waking up. And they wonder why I'm so tired in the evenings!

Sneak Peek

Shannon and Kathleen are officially in town and I'm happy to leak some of the official photos for our first weekend together!





















You're welcome for the pictures, and thank you, Mother for the Easter delivery



We didn't simply eat this all in one sitting immediately after opening it. Weird.

A List of People No One Will Care About

I noticed the shoes first, probably because I was bored, hanging around with my eyes down, debating whether I should pull out a Scramble With Friends game, or my Harry Potter volume, or neither. It was a bustling evening but with chill on the breeze that made me curl into my jacket and continue to shift my weight on my feet, there under the bus stop street lamp. The shoes passing were a thick, shiny, saddle-shoe type for men in tan and taupe. They reeked of pretentious class. Then I noticed his pants were a perfect matching color palette in a woolen tweed fabric. It's past 9pm and his slacks are perfectly clean and pressed? And why does he look straight out of the 60s?

Then I realized: those freight-sized trucks parked one block over weren't construction or delivery, they were for the sets and dressing rooms of film productions. The owner of the shoes was eyeing the market I was waiting in front of. The usual harmless homeless man sat on his bucket, rocking back and forth, singing to himself and offering jovial greetings to everyone that passed by, mainly grad students at Columbia's Teacher's College located right across the street.

"Dems are some good-lookin' shoes, sir!" is what The Bucket Sitter said to The Man From the 60s. He looked down at the shoes, then up at the homeless man, offered a smile and a laugh.

"Thanks, but they're not mine, they're Wardrobe's." We happened to catch eyes at this moment, he smiled at me and I smiled confusedly back.

Was that Don Draper? I admit I've only seen Mad Men once (the pilot) and I wasn't into it enough to continue, and I probably couldn't pick Jon Hamm out of crowd, but it crossed my mind as he crossed the street. I don't think it was him, but maybe it was.

The world may never know.

This is what makes me want to start a list of my Fake-Celebrity Sightings. I'm not actively seeking celebrity faces, but I guess if you have 9 million people living on top of each other on a 12 mile island, you're bound to get some lookalikes. For instance, if I walk to work in the mornings, I habitually pass a man that looks so much like Zach Braff that I call him Zach Braff's Cousin in my head (and I gauge my timeliness to work depending on where I pass him on the street, but that's another story.) Another time, I made Jayna stop talking so I could concentrate on the man walking with his grandmother ahead of us because I was certain it was Jon Krasinski. We walked fast to be in front of them, but this was equally difficult to discern as we had to turn around and look at his face "casually". It wasn't him. I don't think. And there was a fake Mel Gibson in there at some point, and come to think of it, Friendly Homeless Man who hangs out in front of AppleTree Deli every night could possibly pass for the poor man's Morgan Freeman (no pun intended).

I guess no one gets as excited for a fake celebrity sighting as a real one, but I will continue to update you nevertheless.

Oh, and Daniel Radcliffe was on campus yesterday filming for his new movie where he plays Allen Ginsberg. All the girls in my dance class were giggling about it last night. I'm in the midst of Harry Potter (almost done with book 4!) so I'm kinda sad I missed it. Ten points will be taken from Gryffindor.

Shannon and Kathleen fly in tomorrow!

Montags Kӧnnt Ich Kotzen

Jens sent me this picture yesterday and I was having such a case of the Mondays, that it was so perfect. The official translation is probably along the lines of "Mondays Can Go Screw Themselves"



The best weekends always mean the worst weeks following. I actually GOT ON THE WRONG BUS THIS MORNING!! How does that happen?! It's a long story, but suffice it to say that I am still humbled in this city.

This past weekend Ronnie and I went to brunch and then saw Mirror Mirror, because you know the New York Post gave it zero stars so we HAD to see that mess. It was RIDICULOUS. And not in a good way. However (spoiler alert) the credits turn into an entire Bollywood dance scene that had us cackling with laughter in our seats (specifically chosen to be far away from people and children so we could comment scathingly on the movie as it went) and Ronnie says the dance scene was worth $3, which meant we only really lost out on $10 seeing it.

I am also blazing through that Harry Potter series and got caught reading it with a surprise friend!



I've read to my faithful penguin so much that he's learned to read by himself at this point, and does, frequently. How many times do I have to tell him to put the books back when he's done with them?

Sunday evening was family dinner with Betsy and Ronnie over Bridget Jones' Diary and I was so content to be in the presence of a kitty cat!



Buster blends right in to the hardwood. And today I'm thinking... Dienstags kӧnnt ich kotzen, also.

Urgent News From The General

Both bags of Cadbury Mini Eggs have been consumed. This is the general repeating: The Cadbury Mini Eggs have been eaten to smithereens.

They were faithful companions in boredom, a ray of sunshine at work, a keeper of dreams as dessert before I went to sleep, and a study partner as I stayed up all night writing a paper (along with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise as I had the classic Interview With A Vampire on, which had more of my attention than the paper) and yet, they have both fled from me. The Cadbury Mini Eggs achieved all they set out to do (and more).



Also, we're needed in the Tungshao Pass