Memorial Day Weekend

My Memorial Day weekend turned out to be pretty good, all things considered! Sleeping in, exploring, and yoga. On Sunday I went to try out the Brooklyn Tabernacle church in Brooklyn and am ashamed to say that I couldn't find it! I was getting frustrated with being lost and getting some rough blisters, so I just ambled to to the Brooklyn bridge before calling it a morning. Just when you think you know a place...! I was humbled. Next week perhaps I'll try again.



Just this weekend I also joined MeetUp.com, it's this website where you can join different groups formed for different interests, and (unlike facebook or myspace) you actually MEET UP to do activities or whatever. I'd heard of it before, and after 2 weeks exploring the city alone, I decided I was at the point that I needed to go out on the limb and try out this social networking thing. A group I joined was having a Memorial Day picnic in Central Park, so I decided to go. I didn't feel weird until I saw this huge group hanging out at the corner of 66th and Central Park West, our designated meeting spot, and I got really shy and awkward. Still, I powered through and it ended up being really fun! Everyone was incredibly friendly and welcoming and it was a great day for a picnic, plus there was more than enough food and snacks and the Sheep Meadow in Central Park was packed with people lounging, tanning, playing music, capoeira, sports, yoga, frisbee, etc. It was a great time and it felt good to be out making friends! It turns out that this whole MeetUp thing is huge! If you're a member of one group, you're a member of 10 others, and everyone was talking about all sorts of other MeetUp groups they were involved with and things they would do... movie groups, dining groups, clubbing groups, language groups, origami groups, creative walks group, divorce therapy groups, etc etc! At any rate, I met some nice people and had a great way to spend my Memorial Day in New York.

And lastly, a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beautiful Alyssa. A great friend from high school, Alyssa and I are so similar in so many aspects of our personality, to not like her would be to not like myself! She is a very dedicated person who knows what she wants, she has great faith, and cares tremendously, I know she always wants the best for me and she supports me and is there for me. She has helped to shape me and my life and was a cornerstone of friendship for me all through high school and college. Love you Alyssa!



Her beautiful wedding in June, 2008



I caught the bouquet at her wedding so you know that means I was her favorite bridesmaid :)

A short work week, yahoo! And hopefully, lots and lots of yoga...

Give Me the Splendid Silent Sun

If you were ever wondering where the blog title came from...

Part II

Keep your splendid, silent sun;
Keep your woods, O Nature, and the quiet places by the woods;
Keep your fields of clover and timothy, and your corn-fields and orchards;
Keep the blossoming buckwheat fields, where the Ninth-month bees hum;
Give me faces and streets! give me these phantoms incessant and endless along the trottoirs!
Give me interminable eyes! give me women! give me comrades and lovers by the thousand!
Let me see new ones every day! let me hold new ones by the hand every day!
Give me such shows! give me the streets of Manhattan!
Give me Broadway, with the soldiers marching—give me the sound of the trumpets and drums!
(The soldiers in companies or regiments—some, starting away, flush’d and reckless;
Some, their time up, returning, with thinn’d ranks—young, yet very old, worn, marching, noticing nothing;)
—Give me the shores and the wharves heavy-fringed with the black ships!
O such for me! O an intense life! O full to repletion, and varied!
The life of the theatre, bar-room, huge hotel, for me!
The saloon of the steamer! the crowded excursion for me! the torch-light procession!
The dense brigade, bound for the war, with high piled military wagons following;
People, endless, streaming, with strong voices, passions, pageants;
Manhattan streets, with their powerful throbs, with the beating drums, as now;
The endless and noisy chorus, the rustle and clank of muskets, (even the sight of the wounded;)
Manhattan crowds, with their turbulent musical chorus—with varied chorus, and light of the sparkling eyes;
Manhattan faces and eyes forever for me

--Walt Whitman

Bada-boom!

I did it, I found my yoga studio! There was this crazy deal going only until Memorial Day for 3 weeks unlimited for $33 so I decided to try it out.

I got up early as it was down in SoHo and I wasn't entirely sure where it was. I started to get a little nervous before going. I know people are out in public to commute for everything, but I felt self conscious in yoga clothes and carrying my mat, and I started to feel a little discouraged at going alone to a new scene, not knowing anyone or how it worked there. I've done a lot of things like this, but it still takes me out of my "comfort zone" (I hate that term).

The studio is only two trains away, I can switch to any of the N, R, Q or W trains at Times Square and exit Canal Street. It's a great area in SoHo with the Chrysler Building hovering over the immediate skyline. The studio is spacious with tons of studio rooms, rocks and rivers inside, free water and tea, and locker rooms with lockers that don't require locks but you can code them for each use. So now I'll finally have some productivity and something to do in the evenings and on the weekends.

In other news, I recently noticed this mosaic on the 50th St train station off the 1 train. They are from the original illustrations of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, which has been one of my favorite books since 5th grade. I try to collect all of the editions and in as many languages as possible. And this always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside



The other wall has Alice, the Queen, and a playing card painting the roses red

Happy Birthday Alice!

Alice and I met when we were both 7 years old, in second grade. We were wearing the same boots somehow. We became best friends that year.

Since I have known Alice, she has been one of the most influential people in my life, if not THE. She is supportive, kind, graceful, loving, talented, beautiful, and FUN. She can be serious, and she can have a sense of humor. She never takes the grind of life too seriously. She has been a counterbalance to my constant over-thinking anxious brain.

Alice was one of the first to hear about my potential move to New York as I went up to see her in Orange County just after I had learnt about it. She was excited, and supportive. She was there for me all through my unemployment. Actually, she's been there for me through everything. She is so selfless and always available and has always cared about me and what is happening with me. Sometimes I think she can't even imagine how much she has meant to me.

Right now our lives are polar opposites: I'm single, living in a new city alone. She is soon to be 5 years married and is pregnant with her first baby (a boy!) and lives in southern California where she was raised. With most people, when your lives change this much, so does your relationship. But with Alice we are still close, we are still friends, we are still closely involved in each others' lives. Now is especially a time in my life where I am conscious of the people who have meant a lot to me, and who are there for me, and I feel very fortunate to be able to share it.



Alice and her husband Andrei who drove up to Santa Barbara for the morning of my graduation from UCSB



Cutting the cake at Alice's graduation party from CSU Fullerton that same year



Kris and Al... Cupcake and Barbie (long story)

Songs of the Times

They say that scent is the quickest memory-inducing sense, which may be true, but audio is a much funner one. I love the way songs or albums can take me back to a moment or an era of life. Like, No Doubt's Return of Saturn reminds me of that summer after 8th grade when I was dating Ryan Bullard, or The Smiths always take me back to 9th grade when I went through a huge '80s obsession, and I am in my room in France when I hear any song from The Killers' Sam's Town. Lately I was wondering what songs would remind me of this time in my life, and here are a few I came up with since I listen to them a lot these days:

Kids by MGMT
Empire State of Mind by Jay Z featuring Alicia Keys
Judy is a Punk by The Ramones
Keep Holding On by the cast of Glee
Back to Black by Amy Winehouse
I've Seen That Movie Too by Elton John
and probably just about anything by Lady Gags!

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Yoga Studio

Please understand how much I cringe when I drop the words or phrases "yoga" or "yoga studio". I realize how pretentious and lame it sounds. But I just have to say that I HATE mindless working out, I can't stand dull hours of treading or stair-mastering... and since I need a partner for tennis, and a team for soccer, yoga is not only a full scale work out (don't knock it til you try it!) but it also enhances flexibility... something I really miss since my glory days on dance teams. So I'm still set on finding a yoga studio, and a few days ago I went to visit another studio.

It wasn't very far, but I don't understand how many times it will take for me to remember DONT WALK THROUGH TIMES SQUARE! Times Square is that beautiful place where 42nd and 7th intersect... and my work is on 7th. So when I was on my way to 3rd and 54th I first walked up 7th to 54th, to walk east to 3rd. This takes you right through Times Square, which as marvelous as it is, when you're actually trying to get somewhere, all the slow, gawking crowds and tourists aren't what you want to run into. It takes double time to get through and safely out of Times Square.



By the time I made it up to 54th I was a little worn out. (In my defense this was after a full working day!) I still went east but as I was crossing 6th Ave, I saw this little number:



Radio City Music Hall! I blew off the yoga studio and hung out in this area which also featured Rockefellar Center and all that jazz. The weird thing about being here in New York is that there are so many things I know about, but they all keep coming up as surprises!

On my way back I passed by a Sam Ash. Since I haven't touched a piano since I left California, I found my way in and sat at the keyboards to play a little. I didn't have music in front of me and couldn't recall too much, and there were rude show-offs playing unabridged pieces like Fur Elise, so my joy was cut short.

Still, another nice day exploring the city block by block. I love that I can find these sorts of things just on my way home from work. It doesn't have to be a planned outing or excursion, and it's not weird to be alone. It feels like the antithesis of California sometimes.

On A Sunday.

There is one thing that just doesn't change in any city from coast to coast, and it's the very American phenomenon of Christian "mega-churches". I am not really a fan, and I don't want to sit here and knock them cause if their teachings are Biblically sound and people can be satisfied there, then good for them. At any rate, I got up and made it (early!) for the 10 o'clock service of what's called The Journey church on the Upper West Side. I enjoyed the worship and message, and in short it was a good first start, but not necessarily a match made in heaven (pun? no?)

Afterwards I had a long day out in the city. I went and visited a bunch of places I'd been planning on seeing at some point or another. My first stop was the Apple store to look into a new laptop. (Poor iBook Ambrose is suffering through a long and painful death, he's over 4 years old now). I was walking down Amsterdam Ave to the 86th St metro station and found myself in the "2010 Amsterdam Avenue Street Festival". I would say that "Festival" was a stretch, it was, at best, comparable to Riverside's Wednesday night street fairs in the summer. Still, it was cute and nice to see all the vendors.

I ventured into the Apple store on the Upper West Side... check out this bad boy!



I am fairly certain I am going to spring for a 13" Macbook Pro. It's a scary thought as far as money goes, but it's a good investment.

After that, I got on the M86 crosstown, which is a bus, and which was the biggest mistake ever. I needed to get to the East Side to check out a yoga studio I scoped out online. THE BUS WAS A DISASTER. I very truly, honest-to-blog think I could've walked there faster. It was so irritating just sitting there in traffic, not going anywhere. By the time I got to York Ave I had already decided I couldn't commit to this studio since there was no way I could dare to take this bus regularly to get there, so I just started walking back the way I came.

I made it to an AT&T store, thinking I was about to liberate myself and get my own phone plan. When the last step came, the woman couldn't give me an NYC number since I had a California id. I couldn't decide what to do, so I left. Across the street was BestBuy, and a Petco. I went to both, respectively. I only brought like 3 movies with me from home, so I decided to invest in a few more. I got 3: Australia, the Baz Luhrmann film I have wanted to see since it hit theatres, Kill Bill, since I am always ashamed I don't own it for how much I love it (and how engrained it is in my past hint DEF GOVERNMENT JAM hint) and Knocked Up, the safety comfort movie that takes me back to San Diego, and Pam. In Petco I just looked at all the small animals and fish for awhile, and missed my own Mr Rat Rat, my Mr Jingles, Heathcliffe, however you know him!







On the way back I made it into a Payless to invest in some closed toed shoes for work as well, since I've been cycling through the same 3 pairs for almost a year now and they have definitely taken quite the beating.

Oh and also, I had the urge to get my nose pierced, really bad. I told myself that if I passed a piercing shop I would just get it done, but for better or worse (?) never noticed one!

A lot of people are always asking how I'm settling in, and how I like the city. And I tell them all pretty much the same thing: I'm still in the honeymoon stage, ask me in a couple months. Right now I love it. I love the change, I love all that New York has to offer, I love the community, and the people. As of now I don't have any complaints. It's been lonely at times, but I knew it would be for awhile. And as far as I can tell, there's nowhere better to be lonely!

"Yeah, In the BRONX"

I have a membership to 24 Hour Fitness (or should I say, my dad has a membership with my name on it?) and it was nice to find several New York locations on the website, most in lower Manhattan that seemed close to my work. Since I left my membership card in California I decided to call ahead to make sure that I could even get in without it. Here's how the conversation went:

"Blahblahh ouhgfouhrowhghjhvbcfjsh 24hourfitnes shrfiouwgrehiwuh howmayidirectyourcall?"

"I have a quick question cause I just moved here from California but left my membership card there, would that be a problem?"

"Nah, we just look you up in the system"

"Okay gr--"

"-but do you know what kinda membership you got cause we Ultra Sport and that's tha highest and I don't know what if they got these in California"

"Oh okay yeah, cause I don't think I have that"

"Yeah then you gotta pay to upgrade to come here"

"Do you know if there are any non-Ultra Sports in New York?"

"Yeah, in the BRONX"

Ooooooooookay lady! Now I have to decide if I'm ready to take on the Bronx this weekend for a yoga class, or if it should wait. There's a gym here in the residence in the meantime anyway.

Happy Hour!

Last night was a company happy hour. They have them once a month... religiously! This was my first one with this company, which was really fun since the staff is so big. We went downstairs to the infamous Irish bar Triple Crown, which is literally just below us. It was really warm that day, and overly crowded since apparently Pearl Jam was having a concert at Madison Square Garden just down the way. Still, I enjoyed meeting other staff members and hanging out with ones I don't have personal time with.

Everyone had a lot of questions about California, and it was so bizarre! "So did you have a car?" "How often did you go to the beach?" "Would you drive to work?" So funny! Um, I'm not from NOR Cal!

I can't stress how much different this vibrant, bubbling, huge New York center and staff are from the quiet, smaller, low key San Diego one. I love it, I work so much better here!

For no real reason, here is the 125th Street metro station of the 1 train, which I take every morning and evening to and from my residence!



This weekend my plans are to visit a gym, and a church!

Getting Around

As a parting gift, my friend Rafael gave me the National Geographic Travellers Guide of New York. Yesterday I decided to hit something… anything! I looked up what was close to my work and found the Flatiron district was a nearby walk. The area is named for the famous Flatiron building, that wedged shaped one that comes to the width of a window… forget it let me find a picture!



Just across from the building is Madison Square Park, where I went to sit and take in everything, and found there was a dog park there. I went and sat on the benches inside hoping I would be able to play with some of the dogs. They all avoided me! I was wearing red, maybe they took it as a sign of aggression?? It was so cute to watch the dogs jump around on the benches and chase each other and make friends.



So cute!



There was a little boy who came in with me, looked like he was on his way home from school, and he came in alone just to play with the dogs. It was so precious the way he tried to join in, or ask owners if he would play with them. I love the way the New York community interacts with each other and lives together. People say that those who live in NYC are cold… just passing each other on the streets like a face in a crowd. On the contrary, I find that it is actually very considerate. The city is dense, everyone lives side by side, you can’t really catch a break to be alone… to avoid eye contact and just go along your way is respecting everyone’s personal space that they need. Imagine if you had to smile and greet everyone you passed… even a Californian would burn out pretty fast.

In other news, I finally bought a 30 day metro pass. Smart, intelligent me thought that it was like a month pass only valid in the month, like San Diego would do, so I was trying to hold out until June 1. But then I realized it was just 30 days from when it was purchased, so I got on that. It’s $89. Do you think that’s bad? Because let me tell you something: San Diego’s month pass (which is only valid in the calendar month) is $72. Transportation stops around midnight, frequency was about once every 15-20 minutes (and there was only one bus in walking distance from my apartment) and to get anywhere seemed to average an hour if you had to transfer at all. In New York, I have unlimited access to all the subways, metros and busses, they run 24 hours, are extremely fast, come at frequent intervals, and reach far and wide! If you lose them though, that’s it… dun dun dun

Who Doesn't Heart NYC?

I hate these kinds of pictures but at this point in life I really don’t have much of a choice!

I had sufficiently packed away all my “kitchen” goods (read: coffee mugs and wine key), so I had to buy a coffee cup here… I’m pretty sure only tourists buy this kinda stuff but oh wellsies

My Work Place

Today was a rainy day here in New York. It felt like a refreshing change, only to save space in my luggage I didn't pack any winter clothes (save for one jacket and one scarf, both of which I wore today!)... so I may be needing those sooner than I thought. (What the heck New York, it's the middle of MAY!)

I've had a much better day today, I feel less discouraged. I don't know why i was initially, maybe discouraged wasn't the right word, because I'm finding I like this enviornment (being a part of a better structured, more professional team here rather than running the show of the barely-holding on San Diego center!) so it's probably just the transition

Here's a small look where i work...

Just off the elevators, I look at this through the window of the Student Services Bay



Here is the bay area where I work with others:




And the lobby area where students are for orientation and breaks usually:




Today I snuck down to the 2nd floor where all the corporate workers are located. There's one girl named Arielle that I worked with a lot over the phone... she is the admissions manager for South America, Spain and Portugal. Since all of the Brazilians not only flock to San Diego, but cause lots of problems, her and I were always on the phone and go way back!

We had been emailing and she wanted to know when I would arrive and so I just went in and surprised her. Everything was extremely quiet and still in the midst of all the workers, and when she saw me she was practically yelling and it was a little embarassing because I'm sure EVERYONE heard, but on the way out I also noticed a fair amount had their iPods in, so oh well.

It's been so fun to meet the people I've worked with for so long but never met! And it's just the beginning.

Lastly, I just realized today at lunch that my work is just 2 blocks down from Madison Square Garden! Who knew?

My First Day!

I was running late (old habits die hard). Made myself coffee and took too long getting ready. The best thing about my residence location, however, is the proximity to the 1 train that runs straight down the west side to the block that my work is on. Well I went up to the 125th street station a little stressed that I may make a less than stellar first impression. As luck would have it, the 1 train was cancelled due to some sort of switchboard error. I had no idea where to go.

I called the center director to let him know, and also, for help! He pulled up a map and told me it looked like I could pick up the B train if I just walked a couple blocks east. The only thing east of me was Morningside Park. Even a quick glance down some steps I couldn’t see out of the park. I started to walk down them before I thought, I can’t go wandering through a park! I asked nearly everybody, and finally (after making my way through the park!) I made it to the B train. It was nice to see parents walking their kids to school, construction workers working, police men standing guard, and neighbors walking their dogs, all about everywhere, early in the morning.



When I exited on 34th street (I usually exit the 1 at 29th) I came out onto 6th Ave. My work is on 7th. I wasn’t sure which way to walk so I took a guess and guess what! It was wrong. I had to turn around and go the other way. I was pretty frazzled once I did finally arrive.

Getting settled in was… interesting. I am joining a team of Student Services who divide up all the work that I used to manage single handedly. I report to someone who has been a doing the student services operations for far less time than I have, and in general she seems like she’s not naturally a manager, but tries to exert authority in weird ways… like talking my ear off about something I already know, but just wanting me to see that she knows it? I don’t know.

I like my work area. They call it the “student services bay” and I sit at one of five desks and a work counter in the room. It’s comfortable, and bright, and I like my colleagues, but it’s a little awkward getting adjusted. It’s so much less stressful here, ironically. I don’t have to handle every single issue that comes through, I don’t have to any every question a student ever haves. It’s actually quite refreshing.

We had an all-staff meeting on the first day which, by San Diego comparisons of myself and Antonella the DOS, and the 10 teachers, this was huge! We could barely fit into the largest classroom. Everyone has been very supportive and friendly once they learn that I just moved from California.

I’m getting used to the way things work around here, and the setup of the school even. Not sure where everything is, and I don’t entirely run the show like I used to, but everything here feels so much more legit!

I actually left a little unsettled at the end of the day though. I called the San Diego school many times to talk to the student workers, and to Antonella. I felt like a mother whose child went away to summer camp for the first time. I couldn’t stop thinking about them or contacting them to make sure they were okay! I figured I was just worksick for San Diego.

It’s a transition, I have to enjoy the ride.

Waking Up in the City That Never Sleeps

I made it to the Big Apple in one tired piece.

I landed in Newark and was able to gather my luggage and myself and get a cab to the residence. Staff had called to make sure that I made it in okay and met me as I was getting out of the taxi and brought me up to the room. There was a bouquet of flowers in my room and new Egyptian cotton sheets in the room for me. It was a nice little surprise.



Daniel Rojas is the graphic designer from our corporate office that works as one of the RAs in the residence and he invited me out for a beer. I was tired, and unpacked a little but I thought why not? So we went to a little tavern-y type place around the corner. It was nice to relax and talk. He himself is from Spain and moved to New York City seven years ago, so he’s a transient just like me!

I slept in and took my time waking up and getting ready. I spent the better part of the morning unpacking and organizing. It’s a little annoying to think I’ll just be packing it up again soon, but the only thing more annoying than that is living out of a suitcase. I took a shower, and then ran errands, which mainly consisted of me taking the train to downtown and getting Starbucks at Penn Station and then hitting up Kmart for what I considered to be essentials here without a kitchen: a coffee maker and filters, a rice cooker, some Tupperware (I’m sure I’ll be having leftovers for lunch for awhile!), and a place setting of one plate, one bowl and one cup, and sufficiently forgot any sort of utensils.

This is the view from my bedroom window:



And this is the view from the lounge:



At any rate, I’m half looking forward to work tomorrow, and half not. It will be nice to start life and have a schedule, but I’m tired and feel like I could use a little more time to get settled.

Welcome to the city that never sleeps, self!

P.S. Alles gute zum Geburtstag Herr Stahr!

From Sky Harbor, Phoenix Arizona

I have two things to say about the leaving process:

1. I am THE most inefficient packer, ever (hands down)
2. It turns out that people are mostly kind

No matter how hard I try to be a good packer, I am awful at it. I wasn’t trying to be too conservative about the AMOUNT of things I was bringing this time around, just since it was all going to go eventually, the more now, the less later. Yet somehow it seemed that I was packing things that didn’t really matter, and I kept finding things I ACTUALLY need that never made it to the suitcase (which were crammed in). My two suitcases were the most awkward looking pieces of luggage with bizarre angles and bulging sides. I’m proud to say the bigger one weighed in at 72 pounds… 22 pounds above normal allowance, and 2 pounds above the “heavy” limit. But they let it slide. There is good in the universe!

I don’t really want to talk about the whole leaving and goodbyes, because those are obviously the worst, and what I hate the most. Suffice it to say that I will miss my family the most, and my sisters above and beyond all else. It wasn’t easy to say a goodbye to move across the country.

Friday night my dad made a trip down to San Diego and I had to frantically finish packing everything. I had to say goodbye to my roommates, and say goodbye to my rat, who is being taken care of by a friend of my coworker who helps run a sort of small animals rescue. That drive home was killer considering we left around 12:30 and that whole week was exhausting, and staying awake was not easy (but made possible in part by Mat Valencia… thanks for the stories and conversation)

Saturday morning I got to have all my family home: sisters, parents + Heather’s Bobby. My dad cooked breakfast and we all ate together and got to play with all the cats and unload the cars from the previous night’s trek. My aunt Joann was even able to stop by to say a farewell.

The airport was rough.

To give you an idea of the state I was in: a woman in front of me at the check-in offered to give me a hug (I accepted). The TSP security handed me a tissue without asking. The woman who took my boarding pass asked me if I would like to rebook, and the stewardess on board brought me water the minute I sat down and then just rubbed my shoulder until she had to do her demonstration. Ironically it’s the times you hurt the most that those sort of gestures just make you feel worse, but alas, it reminds me of the kindness people in the world really do possess.

Now, I am here in the Phoenix airport. Still a wreck, but recovering. Even the desert rock landscape of phoenix is bittersweet… I’m leaving the entire west, and the desert where I would make frequent appearance and trips, it’s not going to be so easy anymore. I passed by a book store that I passed by and immediately spotted a copy of Dr Seuss’s “Oh! The Places You’ll Go!” I sat there and read it and started to feel a little perspective and feel better.



As my wisdomous mentor at work told me “I’ve given up so much and haven’t gotten anything returned yet… but it would come”. All I’ve done so far is say goodbyes, and leave people and things behind. And in this moment im not sure for what.

I know that it may not always be easy, but it will always be worth it.

When It Hits

So I sort of had to eat my words after that last post. I went to bed that night a little troubled mentally, and woke up a few hours later just feeling crazed about the whole thing, everything from disbelief to wondering, "what did I get myself into?!" It was a scary situation that was only amplified by the night.

It's weird because I've already pre-combatted these thoughts, but it seems that sometimes the logic doesn't communicate with our emotion. Just goes to show how real it all became that I maybe had a little glimpse of what I was doing. I mean, I'm sure I'll go through doubts and nostalgia and missing people. And I cry or get upset, but I do believe it's worth it, that's why I'm following through, but it doesn't stop the sadness from occurring.

By this time I'm writing this, I've had my last day of work at the San Diego center, which was very emotional and tiring. It was draining to say so many goodbyes and realize that I wouldn't be with my San Diego colleagues and everyone and everything I'd known for the past year with this job that I'd come to love so much. This is a gamble to change centres, to trade in San Diego for New York City... as Deborah reminded me today, in a question such as this, there is no wrong decision. I am making a decision whether to stay or go. I'm only saying I will try this to see how it goes, it doesn't mean that if it doesn't work out I failed, it means I made a decision to move and that's what happened. TMI ?

Last San Diego Night

Finally everyone has been told that I would be leaving... yes the teachers at my work were just told on Thursday of my last work week! At least everything is out in the open now and I can talk about it freely and update my facebook!

This is my last night in San Diego. My room is a mess. I have been so drained at work, just trying to tie up loose ends, to train the new girl, etc. Then every evening I am supposed to be packing, even though I am trying to see friends, go to my favorite restaurants a last time (not to mention a last good dose of Mexican food, thank you for the reminder Ryan!) and I am just exhausted and can't stand to spend one more minute putting something in a box.



I don't feel anxious about my move at all. I think I'm just worried that I'm not realizing the magnitude of what's happening! I have no qualms about leaving San Diego. I love our center here, but otherwise, I never felt "meant" to be here, for any stretch of time really. I always fed off of the students' excitement of the city: they loved the beach, the weather, the city. They are alays beaming just to be here. They love the California lifestyle and laidback attitude. I would think "yeah, it is nice" and feed off of their emotions, but it never really called to me. Though I've lived by the beach for the past 6 years, I am by no means a "beach" person. I've always wanted to get out of California. I'm glad I'm taking this opportunity.

I've moved away to go to college, and I've moved away to study abroad for a year. But those were all temporary, and I knew it. This is weird because it's indefinite. Who knows what will happen, and sometimes it's scary to leave and think "what if I end up feeling like..." but what's worse is the thought of just staying somewhere that's so vanilla to me. Maybe it won't work out, maybe I'll feel lonely, maybe I'll want to move back. But I'd rather do that knowing I tried. It all feels like I should've made this decision years ago!

It Wasn't A Well Thought-Out Plan

It started with a posting on my company's staff website. Amid advertisements for an IT technician in Melbourne, and a Lead Teacher in Florida, was a very subtle "NY Student Services". And me thinking: "maybe someday" and continued with my work.

The New York Center Director, whom I worked with a brief one-week stint, said he wanted to talk to me about this opportunity. My boss, who is based in New York City but happened to be in San Diego that week, was in the office when I heard this. I approached him just as he had sat down with his lunch, I remember distinctly asking his opinion on this, his face down as he lathered sriracha sauce over his noodles and listened to me. "There's no harm in expressing interest and asking about salary and starting date" was his advice. I think it was all a game with myself, seeing how far I could go before I backed out, and get a little rush on this experience. I expected that that would be the last step, that he would talk me out of it, and I would stop there. But I took it one step further.

I had a teleconference with the New York center director Greg, and I had carefully chosen words to express that while I was interested in the opportunity, right now was not feasible, and that I would appreciate him contacting me if something else came up. As I started to deliver my speech, which instead came out grossly disjointed and started with something like "It's just so soon", Greg calmly agreed with me "I know, that's the way it always happens," and I think it was that exact sentence that turned me around. Great opportunities are never drawn out plans that are executed on our schedules. Whether it's now or later, it will always raise some sort of inconveniences. I was reminded of the words of my friend Daniel Stone who once told me "You have to go with the opportunity you have now, not the one that you think will come". Who's to say if another one would come, and really, what IS stopping me?

After loads of talking with everyone around me, after a visit to the New York Center, after signing some paperwork, after training someone new, it has officially become the new road of my life, that I would be moving to New York to work for the New York Center, beginning May 17.

This is my story. (Thank you for asking for it, Aunt Frances).