So I sort of had to eat my words after that last post. I went to bed that night a little troubled mentally, and woke up a few hours later just feeling crazed about the whole thing, everything from disbelief to wondering, "what did I get myself into?!" It was a scary situation that was only amplified by the night.
It's weird because I've already pre-combatted these thoughts, but it seems that sometimes the logic doesn't communicate with our emotion. Just goes to show how real it all became that I maybe had a little glimpse of what I was doing. I mean, I'm sure I'll go through doubts and nostalgia and missing people. And I cry or get upset, but I do believe it's worth it, that's why I'm following through, but it doesn't stop the sadness from occurring.
By this time I'm writing this, I've had my last day of work at the San Diego center, which was very emotional and tiring. It was draining to say so many goodbyes and realize that I wouldn't be with my San Diego colleagues and everyone and everything I'd known for the past year with this job that I'd come to love so much. This is a gamble to change centres, to trade in San Diego for New York City... as Deborah reminded me today, in a question such as this, there is no wrong decision. I am making a decision whether to stay or go. I'm only saying I will try this to see how it goes, it doesn't mean that if it doesn't work out I failed, it means I made a decision to move and that's what happened. TMI ?
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