I HAVE A HOME!

I must be the craziest person I know. I hope I wasn't caught up in desperation. I SIGNED A LEASE FOR THE PLACE I LOOKED AT.

I am THRILLED to have found a studio apartment in my budget in the Upper West Side. Unbelievable. For even more than what I will be paying monthly here I was hard pressed to find places in Brooklyn or Queens. I feel oh-so-fortunate and blessed that I will get to lay my head down to sleep at night in the UWS, two blocks from Central Park, and 2 blocks from Broadway. It REALLY was a steal. Thinking about signing and depositing was scaring the life out of me. But thinking about what I would be left with if I didn't: trucking out to Brooklyn or Long Island or even Jersey everytime something new came up, I just didn't know what I was waiting for.

Now you certainly get what you pay for here. It is a studio if ever I saw one. Small. Small closet. However, I'm happy it has a KITCHEN (and not a kitchenette as some were showing!) and a bathroom that I DON'T have to share, and there's even a little breakfast bar separating the kitchen from "the room" (I say that because it will serve as both bedroom and living room!). There is exposed brick and a faux fireplace. Unfortunately, it has carpet. (I was hoping for hardwood floors!). Of course I was really put off by it but considering the location, it's just so hard to beat. I can't believe my first place here will get to be in Manhattan.

So why am I freaking out? I stayed within a reasonable budget for my expenses. But I'm not even sure I can afford all of the money upfront. I knew it was going to be a lot but maybe I underestimated how much you have to throw at places just to get the keys! Man I didn't realize the good life that I was living! With the cost of housing (and overall living in NYC!) plus all the utilities (no longer splitting with a roommates) plus first months rent, last months rent, security deposit, and brokers fee (yes those are rampant in NYC), I am scared. Not only can this possibly suck me dry, but I'm wondering how on earth I will be able to save. It makes me feel just a little suffocated. Not to mention I need to buy everything! Kitchen supplies, bed, wardrobe, etc! I feel like I should get married just to register for housing needs!

I thought that being gainfully employed, and being single, meant that I would be living like a queen (relatively speaking). But no, it turns out even with modest living (I guess I could save if i moved to the Bronx or Jersey, but is it worth it?), and minimal bills (okay rent, utilities, cell phone, groceries...) saving seems like a thing of the past! To be honest I am just terrified of losing so much money. But in NYC, it's inevitable. I'm so sorry to sound whiney or annoying. It's just what's on my mind and what comes with this whole transition. What will be nice is when life is a bit more stable and I can look back at this challenging time and see how I came along and how God provided for me, no matter how many times I was living life scraping the bottom of the barrel!

SO... the moral of the story? I get my keys to move in July 1st! And I hope that my acting or music career kicks off soon for some supplemental income!