Hot. Too Hot.

I feel depressed, alone, sad, tired, fatigued, and heartbroken... and the heat is not doing a damn thing to help. It just amplifies everything else. Last night at midnight I was walking around with Ronnie, Becca and Josh, and it really felt so hot I couldn't even breathe. But maybe my heart is just weighed down too. It's just HOT. TOO HOT.



(I know the quality is AWFUL but it was the only clip I could find that included that quote! Skip to 0:56 to get the joke)

I haven't stopped thinking about Belle. She was born to the neighbors' cat Gizmo, and I was the one that found them in our doghouse on the day the litter was born.

For Heather's 9th birthday, we each got a kitten, Heather got jetblack Midnight, and I carefully picked out one of the two white kittens (just the mere notion that I could have picked the other and never had Belle sends me reeling with grief). I remember trying to think of a name, and I even remember considering Snowflake and Milkshake, or Snow White.

I don't remember officially crowning her "Belle", but I can believe that the line from the opening song "Bonjour" from Beauty and the Beast had something to do with it... "Well it's no wonder that her name means Beauty, her looks have got no parallel." (I am also convinced I had no idea what "parallel" meant at that age either.) I could never look at Belle without thinking that she was just the most beautiful cat I had ever seen, and was elated when her tan coloring started to show, I just couldn't get over how beautiful she was. It's probably why I myself dressed as Belle that year for Halloween too.



...Just a couple of kittens.